The Perils of Waking up

So remember that blog post from a couple days ago. That same thing basically happened again today. Except probably a bit worst since my grandmother and myself suffered some injuries. I am a tangled mess of frustration this morning. Waking up to basically a physical fight is taking a toll on me.

On this morning. It is with tears that I say that I am thankful that the Lord is compassionate, even on me. It is an impressive and overwhelming statement to make to say that the Lord is compassionate and slow to anger. This morning I was the opposite of those characteristics, and in short order as well. I can't believe how patient, slow to anger, and compassionate God is to us. It is easy to be compassionate for those who have a sense of themselves. Those who can see the errors of their ways and who we perceive as being people who can 'get better'. But I perceive no such future sometimes with my brother and that weaves tangled webs of frustration, bitterness, depression. Oh how I weep at how little I am actually able to do in changing him.

God have mercy on me, forgive me for my not being slow to anger, patient, and compassionate. Forgive me God for being angry and harboring hatred towards my brother. God have mercy on me and my family, I am so weak.

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